Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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