eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
