Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
