Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
