i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is Oprah even human
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
