Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You are the jesus of drinking
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
