I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
