I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it glows. i had to have it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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