So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
honey bunches of taint.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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