We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
