hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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