Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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