She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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