Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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