guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
