remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
