i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
