Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Semen is not good for contacts.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
