who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i love accidental penises.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
