Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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