Jerry, you need to find god
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
