sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
