Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
