Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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