just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
