This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
