so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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