Apparently you make a good broom.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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