If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
