If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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