he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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