just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
