her vagine was all disorganized.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
