Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
