I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
