Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
