Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
