yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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