AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
