I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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