Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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