The maid of honor just puked.
i just google imaged poop.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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