i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
