something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
