You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
