Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
