Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
soo... how was my night?
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