If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
how drunk are you?
Several
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
