Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
