id be glad to
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
